Mentally Pacing.

It was cold and drizzly this morning. Cold for me, anyway. The temp was about 65. I am used to the hot, humid weather of middle Georgia. I probably look odd in my sweatshirt, but who cares. The sun eventually came out and the day was pleasantly fresh.

Today we had to take the little ones to the pediatrician for their annual physicals. Both passed with flying colors. Good health is not to be taken for granted. Not anymore. Good health is something to celebrate, and celebrate we did, with lunch at Peaches. Kelly joined us so we had a little pary of 5.

After lunch I took the kids home. Tom and Kelly started the rounds of gathering up all of Kelly's medical records, scans, films and slides. Tomorrow Kelly and Eric will be driving to Boston for a 5 PM appointment with a respected breast surgeon. All of this is news that I have reported before; facts that are already in evidence. It is not the facts that make me nervous, but rather the implications of what is to come.

Will this doctor be the right one? Will she and Kelly click? Will she be in agreement with the Albany doctors' assessments? Will she offer something new? Will she want/be able to convince the plastic surgeon (that Kelly is scheduled to see on Sept 16) to move the appointment up. Will this be the place that can rid my daughter of this insidious disease and make her whole again?

The list of questions goes on and on. I feel as if I am pacing, pacing, pacing. Mentally pacing. I can just imagine the level of anxiety that Kelly is feeling.

And so we continue to wait for answers. We know that surgery is inevitable. It is all the rest that we don't know, and probably won't know tomorrow. I pray that the visit goes well and that Kelly comes away with a few anwers to help her start to feel some control soon. My impatience is showing again. Things will all come clear when the time is right. I pray for patience. The sun is sure to come out eventually.