Rain Forest Days

The weather here in NY has been a little fickle today. One minute the sun is shining brightly. The next minute the skies open up and the rains pour down. This has happened half a dozen times today. It is like living in a rain forest.

I feel like a rain forest myself some days. Sunny and joking one minute, teary and down the next. On top of that I have been experiencing tension headaches that make me feel like my head is in a vice. I am an action person. If there is a problem then there must be something I can do, even if I can't fix it. Feeling helpless makes me feel lost and useless. Keeping busy is always a good thing. We have been busy today, so my personal rain has been kept in check.

Information continues to come in from various sources regarding Kelly's health. Her radiologist weighed in yesterday regarding this new turn of events. If you have already read Kelly's blog at www.caringbridge.org then you can skip ahead. Kelly is much better at explaining the details than I am.

As I understand it, basically the radiologist says that he does not believe this is a recurrence of the breast cancer. Rather, he believes that this newly seen area is actually more of the original cancer that just hadn't developed enough to show up on previous scans, thus was not excised nor treated with radiation. Had they seen multiple suspicious areas earlier on, they would have recommended a mastectomy right away. DCIS is so hard to visualize that this new finding doesn't really come as a surprise to those who know the nature of the disease. I can grasp this, and I welcome this news much more than to think a new cancer has reared its ugly head.

None of this diminishes the gravity of what Kelly is facing. I have been doing my reading in order to better understand all the terminology and options. Tomorrow she will see another plastic surgeon to see what she will recommend. No surgery will be scheduled until all the data is in and Kelly and Eric decide what direction they will go in. It is a heavy load for them. I am so glad that Kelly also has the support of an on-line group of young women with breast cancer. They can offer real life, first hand experiences and that is more than you will get from any doctor

Tom is so supportive, but just can't handle medical talk. He gets squeemish and has to change the subject or leave the room. That's okay. While I am immersed in research or dealing with Kelly, he quietly fills in by maintaining the routine. He can administer meds, handle the phone, monitor schedules and even do the laundry. Just don't talk to him about procedures, incisions, or body parts. Sometimes he has his own rain forest days and I love him for that. He is my rock.

I do appreciate the notes and comments that you leave here and the e-mails you send. Being able to keep you up to date using this blog is much less demanding than to be spending precious time at the keyboard trying to keep up with correspondence.

Thanks for listening.