Hunkering Down

It is Saturday. Counting down that would be S minus 2 day, or two days until surgery. We aren't looking forward to Monday, April 6. On the other hand, it seems like the hours between now and then are deliberately going as slowly as possible. Most every encounter or conversation is dominated by questions and more questions, with a few explanations thrown in to keep things more interesting. Cards, calls, some flowers and a beautiful gardenia plant have been bright spots amidst the necessary preparations we face as a family.

This morning, Erica (who is a part of Kelly's on-line support group) came for a visit. She is a young physician (geriatrics), who lives and works nearby the apartment. She also has had breast cancer, and is still facing reconstruction surgery. Erica was very helpful by explaining, in detail, what Kelly can expect immediately following her surgery. Some of it was alarming, but at least now it won't be a surprise. All-in-all, it was a valuable visit in terms of gathering information.

It is women like Erica, who have already been where Kelly is going, that are the most comfort for all of us. Many of my friends (you know who you are) have shared personal stories too. There is a special bond among survivors and a willingness to open their hearts, to share their experiences in an effort to make it easier for others who must face dealing with breast cancer. A heartfelt thanks to all of you for sharing.

We went to Brigham and Women's Hospital today for a "dry run". Kelly wanted to familiarize us with the hospital location and the various strategic points inside. We now know where the coffee shop, gift shop and waiting rooms are located. We know where admitting, the O.R. and nuclear medicine is. We know how and where to use valet parking. This was all reassuring, but I found the most comfort in the fact that Kelly and Eric both seemed comfortable with the physical surroundings. It is hard enough to face surgery, but to be walking into strange, unfamiliar surroundings could be an unsettling start. I am grateful for those small comforts.

The rest of our day was rather quiet. Kelly calls it "hunkering down" meaning a time of inward focus to prepare for the stressful days ahead. She has some meditations and visualizations that she will rely on to calm her spirit. She is conscious of keeping herself hydrated and is trying to eat lightly. She has packed her bag and organized her necessities. Her bath chair has had some modifications to work in this particular bath. Her special "granny launcher" electric recliner is positioned and ready to offer a comfortable place to rest when getting in and out of bed is just too hard.

Kelly is keeping busy trying to get some thank you notes taken care of, loading her i-pod with tunes and her new Kindle (a birthday gift from Eric and his mom, Polly) with books for needed diversion. She has been intensely involved with school for so long that the idea of listening to music or reading a book just for pure pleasure seems almost out of reach. But there will be time to fill when there is little else she can do for entertainment. This is good planning and keeps her mind off all those "medical details" that aren't so pleasant.

Tomorrow will be another day of hunkering down. Quieter yet, more introspective, I am sure. We will definitely spend some time re-reading all the well wishes that have been sent our way and know that we are truly blessed to have so many people out there holding us close in their hearts. Thanks for being there.